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Blog If you put your mind to it you can do ANYTHING

So on the weekend I finally received the climbing frame which I had wanted to order for weeks now but it was out of stock- no wonder of course as more people were trying to make their garden as child friendly as they could in lockdown times- and so did I.

However of course the climbing frame came in millions of parts and I ... am no good at handy work- or am I?

I realised 3 things

1. I was brought up with women doing "women's things, ballet, becoming a purser, or a teacher so you could do part time work when being married and having children, maybe tennis but for sure not taking hammers and drills and screwdrivers and putting things together, or being interested in cars etcetc"

Now I never really questioned that because I have a lot of skills, I am an intelligent woman so the lack of knowledge here was never an issue as I always either found a friend (male) who helped me or I hired someone and paid them to do the things that I can't do.

Nothing wrong with this picture...in general but over the last 7 days I had a childrens bench and the climbing frame delivered and no one to help me right that minute when it was delivered. So, I had a choice, call for friends favours for the next weekend and wait, call a handyman and pay and wait until they had time to do this or ... DO IT MYSELF! ... and that was a really weird feeling.. really do this handyman men's work myself? But I can't ? Well I thought I can give it a try, I can always leave it for someone else to finish right?

So I did... I started with the bench and I pretty much got it all wrong first time round, 1. Because I didn’t think I needed to read the description in detail as it seemed all straight forward ( yes yes I know, big mistake) . I screwed and unscrewed nearly every single screw as I went along- however... I did it. I cursed, I didn’t really enjoy it and it took me probably 3 times as long as any skilled person would have taken BUT the fact is I did it!

So the programme in my head- I can't do this - clearly needs to be deleted. Because I just proved myself twice- that when I really put my heart and some discipline into this then I actually could do it!

2. I also realised that of course when you do something for the first time, which doesn’t happen that often anymore when you are an adult unless you take up new skills or a new sports, then you do look a bit silly first time round, and it all takes up time- but so what? Once I realised where I had gone wrong I was able to put things together second time round much faster. So you never stop learning and it is never too late to pick up new skills IF you really want to learn them!

And if you do then you put your heart, soul, sweat and tears and dedication into learning new things, and give yourself a little bit of time to improve and do it again and again and again and you will see improvement pretty fast within a few weeks!

3. Just because I CAN do something doesn’t mean I SHOULD be doing it- WHY? Because I was not enjoying it, although seeing my children happy with the result was heartwarming but this I would have achieved if I had had someone else put it together and in that time that I spent doing the "hard" work I could have done other things that I am actually already good at or that I love doing- ie I could have played with my kids in the sandpit or read with or to them etcetc

So think about the things that you do on a daily basis and ask yourself truly: SHOULD you be doing this? Could you pay someone or ask someone to do xyz and free your own time sensibly to do things you could achieve much much more in or that you love much more?

I outsourced my accounts when I opened my business, I outsourced my IT any electric work I have to outsource etcetc... so where could you save time to spend better and spend money to make more money with things you are good at?

I will leave you with that thought for the day 😊

Have a great week and reach out if there is something I can do to help you reach your "aha" moments to move your life forward.

All the best Astrid

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The Digital Divide

There's a lot of talk in the news about children being left behind because they can't afford reliable broadband, or devices to complete their coursework on at home. There is a real 'digital divide' that has become much more pronounced of late, and the truth is that it is not just restricted to children. So many things aspects of daily life now rely on having good internet access and it is no longer a luxury. It is an essential.

A study by Mastercard found that almost half of people on a low income lacked the most essential digital skills that have been needed to manage day to day activities during the lockdown. People from disadvantaged communities described feeling 'locked out' of services that they need the most, and felt that 'vital information' was being 'hidden from them'.

While we're enjoying those cheap online deals, incentives for paperless bills, and the convenience of filling in applications online, spare a thought for the family down the street who can't afford a computer. Or the elderly neighbour who simply doesn't understand what it's all about and feels a bit intimidated by technology.

When you think about ways to give back to your community, think about the ways you can help those who are struggling in the digital world.

Could you donate some old unwanted laptops, smartphones or tablets to those in need? The Good Things Foundation https://www.goodthingsfoundation.org/projects/connecting-families and Vodafone have also launched a scheme where you can donate your old devices https://www.vodafone.co.uk/techappeal/

There are other ways you can help people that don't cost a penny. Do you have a friend, relative or neighbour who is struggling to navigate the online world?

You could;

Show them how to manage their online banking
Help them to find information such as searching for a better energy deal or applying for benefits
Warn them about possible scams and risks, and encourage them to call you if they are in doubt
Help them to set up their device correctly, or install any software they need

If you want help to improve your digital skills, nobodyinthedark.co.uk is a good place to find resources that are in plain, simple English to help you master the essentials.

A backward step for women?

So 2020 hasn't been an easy year for anyone, but some feel that as women we have had a tougher time than men. There's a common theme I'm seeing amongst couples that the women are doing the majority of the housework and childcare, while the men get to focus more on their work. I got talking to a friend who is a classic example – her husband has now gone back to work to earn a living, while she has been left to look after the kids. Her job looks uncertain as she works at a beauty salon, so she doesn't even know if she has a job to go back to or when she can return. But the kids being off school, and all childcare options currently unavailable, she says she just has no choice but to look after them herself. She feels like she's living the 1950s housewife lifestyle.

What can you do to redress the balance?

Are you happy? Modern social expectations put a lot of pressure on women to 'have it all' and maybe you are happy spending time with the kids. Enjoy it while you can.

Can you find a way to earn money working from home? Flexible hours that mean you can still look after the children?

Network online with other women in the same boat as you. Or get involved with the cause to help improve conditions for women.

You are never helpless. There is always something you can do to improve your situation.

Live your best life!

What does it mean to you? When you see this phrase on glossy Instagram posts with images set in tropical destinations. Maybe your holidays have been put on hold, or maybe your financial situation means that you can't afford to go away. This means it's the perfect time to find joy in the smaller things and appreciate what you have close to home.

I visited a family member who is a keen photographer, and on his wall was the most breathtaking seascape photo taken at sunset. Knowing he has travelled quite a bit in his younger days I assumed it was taken in the Bahamas or the Philippines or somewhere exotic. When I asked, he said it was taken about 10 miles away from his home in Norfolk. I couldn't believe it! We are often so eager to explore far flung destinations that we overlook the beauty on our own doorstep.

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