Do it yourself

As a woman I was surrounded in my childhood years by the traditional role of 'men go to work, women were starting to be independent, but still had their careers early then had children.

Men knew about cars Men did the handyman work in the house. And I freed myself of a lot of those beliefs and thoughts over the last decades - however when it comes to techie and handyman stuff I still more often than not call a friend for help or do whatever is needed for me.

I do this without thinking and often without even trying. And tonight I remembered I had bought black out curtains about 4 years ago - they came with some weird hooks that I didn't even give a second thought. I asked one of my friends at the time to help, he said - and I remember it well - have you even looked at the instructions? I said no, I can never figure them out - for some reason it never got done, but now it's light until about 21.00 and my kids are still wide awake at 8pm. So I remembered the black out curtains I bought 4 years ago. I went to fetch them and had a good look at the 'weird hooks' that had made me give up immediately... It took me 5 seconds to figure it out and 2 minutes to get it all together and hung up. WHAT was I afraid about? I KNOW I am capable of so much more when I really put my mind to it and it really makes me so happy overcoming my own false beliefs and replacing them with facts.

Go and try it! It's a soul-freeing feeling :-)

Excuses

Over the years, everyone I am sure has heard a vast collection of excuses from colleagues, siblings, friends, your children… the list is long.

Some things are scary but once you make that leap once you believe that this step is a good step forward for you, for your future you must bring up the courage to move forward! Take the risk! Make that leap!

Move into a new city, go travelling, change that job make an impact! Never let fear hold you back, never let people hold you back and never let people put you down!

Too often people don’t have the guts to face the truth or admit to themselves that they are afraid or worried. And I know if they only dared to talk about it, every issue would be solvable.

Fear of moving away from your friends, parents and partner for a while – fear of being alone, fear of being unemployed, fear of getting lost in any kind of way.

Everything, once it has been identified and addressed, can be resolved and once you have overcome the hurdle you will not only be proud but you will find it has made you stronger for the next challenge!

I would like to give you one of my favourite excuses of all times – as sometimes they can make you smiles:

Our French intern from over 10 years ago was over 1 hour late in the morning: “Astriiiid you vill not beliv ziz… I caught ze bus ziz morrning, and ze bus got stopped by a dinosaur!! yyyeeeeess! A Dinosaaaaur! And I ‘ad to rruuun and like ziz... I culd not be on time, you see... I am so so sorrryy!!” 😊

The story of the tree

Take a leaf out of nature’s book – nature doesn't think, doesn't get scared, doesn't hesitate.
And just like this tree did – it did what it had to do…it grew… just where it was! And you too have that power!

Do what you should do, and you too will grow where you want to grow to or into!

Obstacles will come, but if you stand firm and follow your dream, there will always be a way!

Go where the opportunities are

Just before lockdown I had an appointment booked to have a new boiler installed. The plumber arrived, we started chatting, and he told me he was living about 2 hours away. I was surprised and asked, “Why didn't they find anyone who lives closer?”

He said, “Loads of people are not willing to travel, I don't understand it as they then moan about the fact that there is no work where they are based. So I have been travelling the country a fair bit, I don't mind doing that and working on Saturdays, in the end it pays the bills right?”

Yes, I thought THAT is the right attitude!

Think: Go where the opportunities are and stretch yourself. It's not always convenient, but no point trying to fish in an empty pond right? Push yourself every day, and you will reach the next goal faster!

Worry – The Struggle Not To Worry

You wake up at night, you try and tell yourself its going to be ok. You as friends and they also tell you “you’ll be fine” – but then you don’t take them serious nor their well-meant comment. You maybe try meditating, you might try and stop thinking about it actively by reading, doing sports or calling a friend but the thoughts always come back to your mind. Does that sound familiar? You don’t KNOW that your dark future vision will actually become reality but you still “fear” it will and so you concentrate more and more on the outcome that you do not want – and the more you think about what you don’t want to happen the more you are likely to subconsciously do everything to prove to yourself that your thoughts and worries were the correct “prediction” of an actually unwritten future!

We often fear the future but since no one knows what will happen we all have the ability to take steps towards what we can influence and can control. Not many people gave the Corona Virus any thought in April last year – did you know this was going to happen? Did you worry about it last year in April? No, because you didn’t know and just as you didn’t know then you don’t know what your future will bring so you need to, you MUST concentrate and focus on the steps and measures you can take to live a happy and fulfilled life. Then you take whatever obstacle comes your way, one step at a time.

Consider your options! The biggest worry currently for most of my clients is jobs and money. Can you start an online business? Can you move your business online? Can you apply for governmental funds? Can you ask for help with friends and family? Are you prepared to work in the fields that are now needed, hospitals, supermarkets, warehouse, logistics, help with childcare etc – the government has a special link for this at least for jobs in London/ Britain

There are always options – please reach out if you would like some help!

Weekly Video Inspiration

This is the time!

Now that every day is like a weekend day, meaning I am at home not having to go to the office, I have to say I am losing a bit the sense for time. I find myself checking which day is today or tomorrow and although I found it shocking at first now I also appreciate this- we are all having to take our feet of the accelerator and that is something good.

You can now take the power you use stressing every day to move yourself, your mind and your body and health froward.

If you have children, was it difficult the first few days? Have you now found a kind of new more chilled routine? I have and it's crazy to see but my little rebellious daughter has calmed down, much less temper tantrums, more love, more fun and both more together.

I of course see the problems in the situation but I also want to grateful for the extra time I am given, the time to reflect, the time to re-plan the year, the time to focus on what really matters to me and that is, my children, my family, my friends, my health but also being grateful every day for a wonderful life and last but certainly not least thinking of everyone who is in great need now, the homeless, the people working in hospitals as well as the patients, the families that have suffered losses, the list is long and so I would like to nudge everyone - if you can make a bit of time or help in other way, now is a great time to move together and start caring about 'the next one' again, which during crazy daily 'normal' life we so easily forget.

Stay safe!

Stretch yourself - come out of your comfort zone

A few months ago my 2.5 years old daughter climbed up a 6 meter high tower with the “big kids” . She climbed right up to the top completely alone. Of course I was watching her, but she did it all on her own, only ever looking up… the next step, the next ladder, gripping one handle each time and smiling all the way up. At the top she looked down very-very proud and said “Mummy, look! I’m here! I was in awe of the tenacity and the fearless walk up with the other 5 and 6 years old children. Then she turned and sat down at the tunnel slide where I could no longer see her, she called down, just to check if I was there… Mummy? I said yes, come down and I will catch you! She did! It’s a very-very steep and fast slide! At the bottom I caught her and she did look a bit shocked about her own courage. I caught her I praised her and I picked her up into my arms. She beamed! Wow, I said, that was amazing! Well done! She wriggled down and said… again! And off she went and did it again.

Think! When was the last time you tried something new? Something that stretched your ability and something that was a bit scary at first (obviously within reason, I don’t want anyone to do kamikaze stuff!) What are the areas that you are doing already, but need to move to the next level? Do it today!

Don't be afraid to make mistakes!

Make lots of mistakes - These were words from a senior lecturer on my friends first day at University, and I will always remember them. As a perfectionist, she never took the message to heart. Mistakes were bad, and something that she felt she should never be proud of. When she was younger she loved to be the know-it-all, who had an answer for everything. Looking back, she says it was because she lacked self-confidence. She was afraid of showing herself to be stupid, or inadequate. She was afraid of failure, ridicule, and rejection. It was easier to hide behind a façade, and pretend she had all the answers.

It takes a lot of courage to own up to your mistakes. Admitting you're wrong, or that someone else is doing better than you at something, takes serious balls! And she wasn't ready for that.
As she got older, she learned to accept that mistakes are not only a part of life but also the best way to learn. Sure, it can be incredibly painful to hear criticism, but if nobody tells you that you are doing it wrong, how do you set about doing it right?

You can approach a situation assuming you know all there is to know, but you won't learn anything. One of the most valuable life lessons I have learnt is that it's okay to make mistakes.

After all, babies learn how to walk by falling down and getting back up again. They try various ways of pulling themselves up and one day, they find their way!

Focus on the positive

Today I had a call from one of my clients who is not dealing with the isolation so well and he felt that being alone and not meeting up with people really did affect his mind and his spirit.

We went through his thoughts and worries and he realised that a lot of what he was thinking about where things that happened in the past. Bad things that happened in the past. His self-worth had taken such a big knock so eventually I had to “wake him up”!

What have been the great times in your life? Do you remember how they felt? Your first success? Your first sporting event that you absolutely smashed? Your first job your first whatever that made you feel good?

Have you ever written down all the things that actually are good or amazing about yourself? Have you ever asked people in your family or your friends (that love you and care for you) what they would answer to this? You’d be surprised with the things that people realise without you even realising. The things that people think are amazing you might think “oh but that’s no big deal” but it IS!

Start focusing today on your successes, on your times when you felt good and then focus on the future! What will you do when the lock down is over? What can you do NOW, right NOW to improve your mind your body and your spirit to move yourself forward? It definitely isn’t watching TV all day!

Focus on the positives in your life, your children your family your sport that you used to do and ok, maybe for a few weeks now can't do but either way – you are really good at it, you love the feeling of winning or achieving or just feeling good after a work out!

Focus on the positive! Focus! Because you can and because THAT is something that really will move you forward as soon as the lock down is over! Stay safe and healthy and speak soon!